He Said, She Said: Finally, The Matter Is Settled!

When this interview came out, I didn't know how to react.  The quoted Mraz seemed almost cruel for mentioning his ex's inability to stand up next to him in his fight for marriage equality.

The singer, whose lovey-dovey 2008 smash “I’m Yours” has been certified six times Platinum, admitted to the magazine that his personal decision not to get married until gay marriage is legal, put an irreparable strain on his previous relationship: “I put myself in the position and said, ‘Now I really know what it feels like to look at my partner and know that I can’t get married.’” 

“I’ve never really talked about this, but after a couple of months, she was like, ‘This is kinda fucked up because I really want to get married and have some babies,’” he says, quickly noting that while she believed in the fight for equality, like many gay couples probably feel, got frustrated having to wait. “We eventually broke up and I think that was one of the factors. I am a stand for [marriage equality], as well as a number of causes, and I discovered that my partner wasn’t. It’s still absolutely something I stand behind and feel today.”

Of course, in true you-proposed-marriage-to-me-then-called-it-off-and-now-this-shit, the ex spoke up on her blog:

Hey, how bout the time you told me that you were clearing all the room mates out of your house, and creating a space to make room for family and that “next phase” in your life? 

And then hey, how bout that time you designed a beautiful engagement ring, asked my parents for their permission, and proposed to me… And then how bout that time you pulled me aside after we walked off the red carpet, at the AFER Elton John event, one month after getting engaged, and explained to me that the press asked you a questions about that time a year ago when you said you weren’t going to get married until there was equality for all. 

And in the moment, all you could think to do was re-affirm to them that, that was still the case. 

Hey how bout COMMUNICATING? 

I supported your decision in that moment, and did not miss a beat, to stand by my man.  But after a while, when things started falling apart. It was not because I didn’t believe in equal rights, or because I wasn’t a big enough advocate for a number of causes.
Take some responsibility. I ALWAYS communicated my desire for kids and family. No one forced you to propose.
Have some respect.
TP
***AND FOR THE RECORD: I DO SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY. EVERYONE DESERVES TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, IN WHATEVER, WHICHEVER WAY THEIR HEART DESIRES. 

As a woman who knows how it feels to think you are being talked about in a shitty way by people you care/d about, I felt sympathy for Tristan.  However, Her blog post did give off an immature feeling, like she was a scorned teenager ranting about a stupid boy.  I sent the following tweet to fellow MrazWomen as a follow-up to an earlier one saying that the woman part of me felt like siding with Tristan more: I just hate it when private stuff like breakups are made public like that and sides are forced to be taken.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan but I don't need to know every detail of their personal lives...not if it makes me have to choose, you know? I really appreciate celebs who can keep their relationships on the down low and divert the attention from it to what really matters--their talent. But i guess when Mraz is concerned, it's hard to ignore news about his love life since love is his main subject. Whatevs, this whole situation is the opposite of being love, IMO. /end-long-twitter-rant

A part of me still wishes that they can fix things and get back together.  They seemed so perfect for each other!  However, I think there's too much history to consider, and maybe they both have been clobbered too much to want to try a romantic relationship again.  So the best I can hope for as a fan is that they remain good friends.

Which is why I am glad about Jason's response to the repercussions of that damn magazine interview.  The way he handled it was very classy and diplomatic.  The way he addressed the issue made his ideals and beliefs shine even more, and it makes me proud to be a fan.  The way he ended his post with a personal apology addressed to Tristan gives me hope:

BTW, I would like to clear something up about my friend, the talented Ms Tristan Prettyman, with whom I stood beside in protest against the inequality of Proposition 8. She is still very much a stand for equality even though our engagement (and protest) was called off. That wasn’t made clear in a recent article published in Instinct Magazine. I have since apologized to her for how my words landed in that interview. And I apologize to you too in case you were misled or disrespected by any of my comments. My decision to leave that partnership was personal to me, and I never should have connected our break-up to the frustration we experienced in the protest. TP continues to inspire me to look deeply at my life in effort to improve it and enjoy it. I love and respect her dearly and am truly grateful for her unconditional love and forgiveness. Thank you friend. And thank YOU friend.

And of course, this too, is awesome.